Navigating Loneliness on the Road to Adulthood
“I feel like I’m maturing a lot right now, I feel like I’ve felt this like shift in my mind where I feel like I’m getting older, everything’s changing and evolving right in front of my eyes and it’s all happening very quickly”- Emma chamberlain
In the midst of life’s whirlwind, there comes a moment when one feels the tectonic plates of their existence subtly shifting. It’s as if the universe orchestrates a symphony of transformation, and suddenly you realize you’re maturing. Emma Chamberlain captured this sentiment perfectly when she spoke of feeling a shift in her mind, a sense of maturing happening almost in the blink of an eye. I always thought life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, doesn’t it? One moment cruising along, and the next, you feel like the whole world’s doing a tango, dragging you along for the ride. It’s like waking up one day and realizing you’re not just older — you’re wiser, too. This awakening, this recognition of growth, is a profound experience, akin to a butterfly emerging from its cocoon and spreading its wings for the first time.
This metamorphosis of the mind is not marked by a single event but rather by a myriad of subtle shifts in perception and understanding. Just like how a spurt is growing, this isn’t like a switch flipping on; it’s more like a gradual unfolding. Each day brings new insights, and new perspectives, like the petals of a flower gently opening up to the world. It’s wild, isn’t it?
But let me tell you, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. The pace of change can be dizzying. Leaving you gasping for air as life zooms by. But you know what? Despite the chaos of change, there is a sense of liberation, this feeling of empowerment that comes from accepting the inevitability of change. I’m learning to surrender to the flow of life, trusting in the process as I go.
As I look back on this journey, I realize it’s not just about getting older; it’s about getting smarter. It’s about fine-tuning your instincts, sharpening your mind, and learning to navigate the maze of adulthood with grace and grit. One of the most eye-opening parts of growing up is seeing how your relationships evolve along with you. I’m learning to communicate better, to listen more deeply, and to navigate conflicts with empathy and understanding.
But with growth comes responsibilities. Suddenly, I’m realizing the impact of my actions and the importance of making intentional choices. It’s a bit daunting at first, but it’s also incredibly empowering to take ownership of my life and pursue my goals with determination. Of course, this journey isn’t without its bumps in the road. There are moments of doubt and moments of uncertainty. And in this whirlwind maze of maturation, there’s a side of the story that no one really warned me about — the loneliness that sometimes creeps in as I get older. It’s like this silent companion, lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce when you least expect it.
Just like The Tiny Wisdom says:
“one of the hard truth about being an adult is…, that one day, some of our friends will move on, and eventually, at some point, we’ll be on our own. So for a while, it’s gonna be lonely”
I’ve read many books, listened to my older siblings, and even I experienced it myself: no matter how busy I get, how happy I am, or how proud I am of myself, I couldn’t shake feeling lonely at certain times. Even though I’m with my friends or I’m in a crowded place, I still feel alone, suffocated within myself. This recognition marks a turning point, a moment where the focus shift inwards, towards prioritizing my own well-being above all else.
In this phase of adulting, as responsibilities pile up and life’s demands grow, it becomes crucial to recognize the importance of self-care. It’s about acknowledging that, amidst the chaos of daily life, one’s mental and emotional health cannot be neglected. Prioritizing oneself doesn’t equate to selfishness; it’s an act of self-preservation, a necessary step towards finding balance in the tumultuous journey of adulthood. Respecting other people’s choices and decisions becomes intertwined with honoring our own needs. It’s about setting boundaries to say no when necessary and recognizing that it’s okay to put myself first. This isn’t always easy, especially when societal expectations dictate otherwise, but it’s a vital lesson in self-respect and self-love.
I know it can be tough. There are days when the weight of it all feels unbearable and when the loneliness threatens to consume every fiber of one’s being. It’s during these moments of vulnerability that the urge to scream into the void, to seek solace in the hope that someone out there hears you, becomes overwhelming. Yet, amidst the darkness, there’s a glimmer of understanding — that loneliness isn’t just an external force; it’s a reflection of the parts of oneself that yearn to be acknowledged, accepted, and embraced. But the thing about loneliness is that it’s not a one-way street, it’s a two-way mirror reflecting back at you the parts of yourself you’d rather keep hidden.
Yet, amidst the solitude, there’s a silver lining — the opportunity for self-discovery. When you’re alone with your thoughts, you start to peel back the layers, to uncover the depths of your soul. You learn to be comfortable in your own skin, to embrace your quirks and idiosyncrasies, and to find solace in your own company, That is why adulting means you need to focus more on yourself and not on other people’s wants and needs. You prioritize yourself, and you’ll say “no” more often than you used to.
But perhaps the most profound lesson of all is the realization that you’re never truly alone. Sure, the journey of maturation can be a lonely one at times, but it’s also a journey of connection-with yourself, with others, and with the world around you. So here’s to embracing the loneliness, to finding beauty in the solitude, and to seeking out connection wherever it may be found. Because in the end, only you can make yourself happy, so let go of your expectations of other people, focus more on yourself, and spend time with yourself to understand yourself more. Take a walk, watch a movie, read, or maybe write your own journey, think, and live on your own. Until you find joy until you find solitude within you. That’s where the real magic happens.
I’ve been writing and re-writing this piece for weeks now. I know I’ve been MIA for two months from medium, and I just want you to know that I’m struggling to write at the moment, but I feel like this is the time I need to let this piece go from my draft. So, thank you for reading one of the longest pieces I’ve written, until next time💛
