The Five Stages of Heartbreak (Taylor’s Version)
Finally, Taylor Swift's new album is out within days, but unfortunately, before that happens, she decided to drop 5 curated playlists that represent the 5 stages of heartbreak or grief. Before releasing her album. I was initially skeptical but I couldn’t shake the curiosity that tugged at me. As I grappled with the decision of whether to dive into these playlists, I couldn’t help but ponder, “Am I making the right choice for myself?”. Okay, before we discuss these so-called "playlists,” there is one thing that you need to know about me: I am someone who just happened to be on the last stage of grief, and that is acceptance in my journey of grief. However, that’s a story for another time. Despite being on the path to acceptance, I felt a pull to explore Swift’s emotional journey through her music, to gain insight into her experiences during those pivotal moments of her life.
The moment I stumbled upon these playlists on TikTok, I felt a profound sense of intrigue. It was as if Taylor Swift had bared her soul, laying bare her most intimate emotions for all to witness. The playlists began with “I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life Songs,” opening with “Lavender Haze,” a haunting melody that evoked the intoxicating bliss of love. Memories surged forth, echoing my own journey through the highs and lows of romance. Swift’s lyrics painted a vivid picture of a love so consuming that it felt as though one were floating in a lavender-scented haze, reluctant to return to the harsh light of reality. As the playlist unfolded, each song captured a different facet of the love experience—from the breath-taking beauty of “Snow on the Beach” to the serene simplicity of “Sweet Nothing.” It was a symphony of emotions, stirring memories of my own experiences of love’s intoxicating embrace.
As I transitioned to the playlist titled “You Don’t Get to Tell Me About Sad Songs,” I found myself immersed in the aftermath of denial, where anger reigns supreme. Here, Taylor Swift’s music delved into the raw, unfiltered emotions of rage and resentment. “Vigilante Shit” set the tone for this playlist, igniting a firestorm of bitterness with its stark lyrics, particularly the line “draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man.” This opening track served as a powerful expression of the simmering resentment towards someone. Following the release of pent-up anger, Swift presented “High Infidelity” as the second song, a revelation that left me astonished—I had never realized she wrote it from a place of anger. Yet, upon closer examination, its meaning became clear: “You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love; the slowest way is never loving them enough.” The playlist navigated through a myriad of emotions, each song serving as a poignant reflection of the tumultuous journey through grief and loss.
The subsequent playlist, “Am I Allowed to Cry? Songs,” delved into the murky waters of bargaining, where desperate pleas for reconciliation intertwined with regrets. Lyrics like “I wish you would come back; I wish I never hung up the phone like I did” stirred dormant emotions, reflecting the futility of bargaining with fate. I was struck by the raw vulnerability of songs like “The Great War” and “This Is Me Trying,” which spoke to the desperate longing for reconciliation and closure. The lyrics made something in me awoke and say, “Damn, I cannot pretend it’s okay when it’s not,” showering myself with ‘what if’ and wishing I could go back and change the past. Swift’s poignant melodies served as a poignant reminder that sometimes, no matter how desperately we wish for a different outcome, some things are simply beyond our control.
After delving into the profound meanings behind songs representing the bargaining stage, we now find ourselves navigating through the melodies that guide us through the depression stage. At the outset of her message, Taylor Swift shares that each song in the “Old Habits Die Screaming Songs” playlist was born from moments of solitude and melancholy. Reflecting on lyrics like “I never was ready, so I watched you go,” I often found myself pondering whether it was due to your unreadiness for me. As I listened to tracks such as “Champagne Problems,” memories of our past slowly resurfaced, evoking emotions I thought had long been buried. The line “And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to” resonated deeply, serving as a poignant reminder of our parting. Despite my attempts to move on, the haunting melody of “All Too Well” brought forth a flood of memories, leaving me yearning for the familiarity of my former self. It’s in moments like these that I’m reminded of the sobering reality that “this ain’t Hollywood; this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,” echoing the sentiment of Swift’s “White Horse.” As her haunting melodies spoke to the loneliness and despair that often accompany loss, they also stirred within me a glimmer of hope—a belief that even in our darkest moments, there is light waiting to be found.
Finally, as I embarked on the final leg of my journey through Taylor Swift’s curated playlists, I found myself immersed in the introspective melodies of “I Can Do It With Broken Heart Songs.” Just as Swift had articulated, these songs symbolized the act of making space for positivity amidst heartache, acknowledging that loss often paves the way for new beginnings. With tracks like “You’re on Your Own, Kid,” “Closure,” “Now That We Don’t Talk,” and even “Begin Again,” the playlist served as a poignant reminder of the power of resilience. At this stage, I reflected on cherished memories and embraced the realization that every loss is accompanied by an opportunity for growth. The lyrics echoed in my mind, particularly the bridge from the first song, reminding me that while bridges may burn and pages may turn, every loss is a step towards personal evolution. Embracing this truth required a leap of faith, but I understood that I held the key to my own liberation. As the playlist unfolded, I found solace in the notion that “long story short, I survived,” understanding that sometimes walking away is the first step towards finding what truly aligns with our path. Despite the trials and tribulations of the past year, I remained steadfast in my belief that I could weather any storm and emerge stronger on the other side.
“making room for good in your life, making that choice because a lot of time when we lose things we gain things too.”- Taylor Swift
As I approached the final songs of Taylor Swift’s meticulously crafted playlist, I found myself immersed in deep reflection on the emotional journey I had traversed. Swift’s musical exploration of grief has served as a profound reminder of the universal stages we all encounter in the face of love, loss, and healing. Each song, from the euphoric melodies of “Lavender Haze” to the raw resentment of “High Infidelity,” and from the yearning of “I Wish You Would” to the somber acceptance of “Begin Again,” acted as a mirror reflecting the complexities of my own heart.
The inclusion of “Lover” in the first playlist sparked a shift in my perception of love, triggering a cascade of introspective thoughts. Questions such as “Do I truly love him, or am I merely infatuated with the idea of him in my life?” echoed through my mind as I immersed myself in the playlist. From the opening notes of the first song to the closing chords of the last, each track evoked a vulnerability within me, propelling me on a deeply personal journey of self-exploration.
As the days led up to the album's release, I found myself repeatedly revisiting Swift’s playlists, each listen unearthing new layers of meaning and insight. It was a journey of self-discovery, a cathartic experience that allowed me to confront my deepest fears and insecurities head-on. With each song, I felt myself growing stronger, more resilient, and more attuned to the intricacies of my own emotions.
As I eagerly anticipated the release of her album, I knew that I was embarking on a new chapter—one defined by hope, healing, and an unwavering belief in the resilience of the human spirit. Armed with the knowledge that I could weather any storm, I embraced the future with a newfound sense of optimism, knowing that, indeed, I could navigate life’s challenges with a broken heart.
